The first year of sobriety is tough—no joke. In the early days of my recovery, after my alcohol withdrawal symptoms subsided and my “pink cloud” completely evaporated, I felt emptier than ever. Whether I wanted to admit it or not, a huge part of my adult life had revolved around alcohol. And suddenly, I couldn’t have it anymore. I was left to face life without my crutch, my coping mechanism, and what I had considered my “dear friend.” So, what the hell was I supposed to do now?
I got sober in early December, and of course, Christmas was approaching. Then there was New Year’s, my 40th birthday, a trip to Florida, a wedding… the list went on. I kept thinking, Why didn’t I just wait until New Year’s Day to get sober so I could make it through the holidays first? But then, there would be the wedding, my birthday, the trip… and on and on. It seemed like there would never be a perfect time.
But here’s the harsh truth for anyone struggling with addiction: There’s never a “good time” to get sober. There will always be a holiday, a social event, a work stressor, or some other thing on your calendar. And unfortunately, there’s no mystical cave you can crawl into, only to emerge miraculously cured. So, like anyone else who’s entered recovery, I had to face everything for the first time—sober.
On top of navigating the calendar, I also had to change my everyday habits and rituals. No more coming home to a drink after work. I had to pause on socializing (since socializing had been synonymous with drinking). There was no more alcohol to calm my frazzled nerves anymore. A lot had to change—and everything reminded me of drinking because drinking had been involved in everything I did! I turned every occasion into a drinking one. Wakes, children’s parties, long car rides, errands—you name it, I drank through it. So, everything I encountered during that first year triggered the memory of alcohol. Add to that the despair at the thought of never drinking again, and it was overwhelming. So how did I cope?
For whatever reputation Alcoholics Anonymous holds in your mind, they got one thing right: the slogan “One Day at a Time” is the key to surviving early sobriety. That’s the principle I held onto to get me through my first year. Because, in that first year, I had to do everything sober for the first time.
If I had a bad day? I focused on not drinking today. Getting on my first flight as a nervous flyer who used to drink herself into a blackout before every flight? I told myself, “Not drinking today.” And if I could get through that flight sober, then I could surely make it through a wedding—because I was just not drinking today. With each small victory came a sense of achievement. Before I knew it, I was crushing everything for the first time, sober.
There were definitely challenges. My first full holiday season sober was filled with dread and anxiety. I experienced a lot of grief and FOMO (fear of missing out) during events that were once centered around alcohol. I felt left out and insecure. But every time I got through another obstacle sober, it felt like a triumph. Even on the worst days, I succeeded because I stayed sober.
Now, more than three years sober, I’m still doing things for the first time. I recently started a new job in recovery—something I hadn’t done before. There are still many milestones I haven’t faced sober yet, both good and bad. But I look forward to them, knowing I will get through them one day at a time.
The first year of sobriety may feel like an uphill battle, filled with doubt, loss, and loneliness. But through it all, the key to surviving and thriving is simple: one day at a time. Each new experience, whether joyful or challenging, becomes a victory when you face it sober. As time passes, those milestones will feel less intimidating, and the memories of navigating life without alcohol will shift from a struggle to a testament of strength and resilience. Sobriety isn’t just about abstaining from alcohol; it’s about discovering who you truly are, one sober moment at a time. And while there may be many “firsts” still ahead, each one is another step forward in reclaiming your life. Keep going—you’re stronger than you think.
Laura is co-creator and writer at The Wagon. She’s written for Newsday, ran a marathon and fallen off bar stools. At 3+ years sober, she currently lives on Long Island, NY with her husband and little dog.
