When I had my first drink at the age of 16, I didn’t know that I would become gravely addicted to the substance I was experimenting with. But I had received warnings, including the following advice from my mother to discourage my nail-biting habit: “People with oral fixations become alcoholics. Don’t drink.” But other than […]
I’m Proud of You: Compliment or Condescension?
The vast majority of my close friends and family knew that I suffered from alcoholism, for obvious reasons. So when I sobered up, I heard “I’m proud of you” a lot. And while my family and friends meant it as a respectful acknowledgment of my accomplishment, it always felt patronizing and dirty to hear early […]
Springtime Sobriety: Navigating Warm Weather Temptations
We did it! Winter is over and just like that, it’s the first day of Spring. The days are longer, the weather is warming up and soon enough, the tulips will be blooming. However, for many people in early recovery, the change of seasons can bring about some challenges. After being shut in by the […]
Shamrocks and Sobriety: A Sober Alcoholic Reflects on St. Patrick’s Day
Parades, corned beef, shamrocks, and wearing green are just a few ways people celebrate Ireland’s foremost patron saint, St. Patrick every year on March 17th. But the 40 shades of green and Irish dinner aside, most people mark this holiday with drinking — a lot of drinking. And that’s probably because this holiday is associated […]
Finding Your Moment of Zen: 5 Tips for the Restless Meditator
When I first learned that meditation was considered a key tool for staying sober (especially if you follow a 12-step program), I thought I was doomed. I grew up in New York City. I’ve always felt comfortable in chaos. Silence scares me (or it used to, at least), so I was none too eager to […]
Sobriety and Chill: Relearning How to Relax in Sobriety
So you got sober, and now you don’t know how to relax. I didn’t know how to either. If you are anything like me, my substance was involved in every facet of my life. Whatever my mood and whatever the occasion, I drank. So, once the alcohol was gone, I was completely lost. Not only […]
The Impossible Question: When Will I Feel Better?
When people first get sober, they often ask, “when will I feel better?” This is a very logical question because when people don’t feel good, they obviously want to feel better. And almost always, early recovery doesn’t feel good and people want to feel better right away. Unfortunately, there’s no straightforward answer to this frequently […]
Hidden in Plain Sight: Dealing with Sneaky Addiction Triggers
Everyone in recovery is different, and every trigger — those things that make us crave a drink — is different for every person in recovery. If you take a big fat Ketel One martini filled with olives and stick it right under my nose, there’s a 99.9% chance that I’ll be triggered to drink it. Or if you force me to smell a chilled, crisp white wine, then yeah, I’m going to want to taste that.
Tiny Pouch, Mean Punch: Zyn
Last year, my husband and I decided to quit smoking cigarettes. Along with my vanity and health, the cost was a huge motivator as at $16 a pack on Long Island, we were spending far too much money on early graves. We chose a quit date of November 1st, and off we went. While I […]
Living One Day at a Time: Why the 24-Hour Rule Is Crucial for Sobriety
The “one day at a time” mantra is used frequently in recovery. And I have to be honest — I couldn’t stand the saying for many, many years. It made me think of the TV show “One Day at a Time” and its incredibly catchy and annoying theme song, which would then stay lodged in […]
An Immediate Victory to Recovery: Showing Up
On account of my drinking, I have missed out on a lot. I had to be taken home early from my sister-in-law’s wedding because I was annihilated. I was too hungover to go to my niece’s dance recital. I missed countless days of work due to raging hangovers or because I was still drunk from […]