Whether you're on it, off it, or somewhere in between
When I first learned that meditation was considered a key tool for staying sober (especially if you follow a 12-step program), I thought I was doomed. I grew up in New York City. I’ve always felt comfortable in chaos. Silence scares me (or it used to, at least), so I was none too eager to […]
So you got sober, and now you don’t know how to relax. I didn’t know how to either. If you are anything like me, my substance was involved in every facet of my life. Whatever my mood and whatever the occasion, I drank. So, once the alcohol was gone, I was completely lost. Not only […]
When people first get sober, they often ask, “when will I feel better?” This is a very logical question because when people don’t feel good, they obviously want to feel better. And almost always, early recovery doesn’t feel good and people want to feel better right away. Unfortunately, there’s no straightforward answer to this frequently […]
Everyone in recovery is different, and every trigger — those things that make us crave a drink — is different for every person in recovery. If you take a big fat Ketel One martini filled with olives and stick it right under my nose, there’s a 99.9% chance that I’ll be triggered to drink it. Or if you force me to smell a chilled, crisp white wine, then yeah, I’m going to want to taste that.
The “one day at a time” mantra is used frequently in recovery. And I have to be honest — I couldn’t stand the saying for many, many years. It made me think of the TV show “One Day at a Time” and its incredibly catchy and annoying theme song, which would then stay lodged in […]
On account of my drinking, I have missed out on a lot. I had to be taken home early from my sister-in-law’s wedding because I was annihilated. I was too hungover to go to my niece’s dance recital. I missed countless days of work due to raging hangovers or because I was still drunk from […]
When we first come into recovery, whether by way of rehab, counseling, or a 12-step group, many of us are inundated with new experiences. Our days may be filled with therapy, support group meetings, and other activities designed to show us a new way to live. But as we learn to integrate these techniques into […]
Valentine’s Day is a divisive holiday and I understand why some people hate it. Whether you’re coupled or uncoupled, sober or active, it can stir up uncomfortable emotions around all kinds of relationships — including toxic ones. My most toxic relationship was the one I had with alcohol and sometimes it’s helpful for me to […]
For many of us who suffer from substance use disorder, everyday can start to feel the same when in active addiction. Like the movie Groundhog Day, where Phil Connors (Bill Murray) relives the same day over and over again, each day started to feel identical when I was drinking. While the circumstances of each day […]
For years I was really into journaling, writing nightly with a pen onto a bound book of beautiful empty pages. Then one day, I stopped. As far as I can figure, this occurred around the time Wi-Fi came into my life and my apartment. Instead of bringing my journal into bed with me, I brought […]
“Radical Acceptance is the willingness to experience ourselves and our lives as it is.” – From Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach, Ph.D. Back in 2011, when I was in my second rehab and freaking out over being there, an addiction counselor told me to practice acceptance. “Acceptance is the answer to all of your problems […]