The thought of getting sober petrified me, so I continued drinking for a long time to avoid a horrifying unknown. How would I live without alcohol? I couldn’t imagine life without it and I was convinced that my life would be over if I gave it up. But that’s what being addicted to a substance […]
I’m Proud of You: Compliment or Condescension?
The vast majority of my close friends and family knew that I suffered from alcoholism, for obvious reasons. So when I sobered up, I heard “I’m proud of you” a lot. And while my family and friends meant it as a respectful acknowledgment of my accomplishment, it always felt patronizing and dirty to hear early […]
Finding Your Moment of Zen: 5 Tips for the Restless Meditator
When I first learned that meditation was considered a key tool for staying sober (especially if you follow a 12-step program), I thought I was doomed. I grew up in New York City. I’ve always felt comfortable in chaos. Silence scares me (or it used to, at least), so I was none too eager to […]
Sobriety and Chill: Relearning How to Relax in Sobriety
So you got sober, and now you don’t know how to relax. I didn’t know how to either. If you are anything like me, my substance was involved in every facet of my life. Whatever my mood and whatever the occasion, I drank. So, once the alcohol was gone, I was completely lost. Not only […]
Hidden in Plain Sight: Dealing with Sneaky Addiction Triggers
Everyone in recovery is different, and every trigger — those things that make us crave a drink — is different for every person in recovery. If you take a big fat Ketel One martini filled with olives and stick it right under my nose, there’s a 99.9% chance that I’ll be triggered to drink it. Or if you force me to smell a chilled, crisp white wine, then yeah, I’m going to want to taste that.
Tiny Pouch, Mean Punch: Zyn
Last year, my husband and I decided to quit smoking cigarettes. Along with my vanity and health, the cost was a huge motivator as at $16 a pack on Long Island, we were spending far too much money on early graves. We chose a quit date of November 1st, and off we went. While I […]
Living One Day at a Time: Why the 24-Hour Rule Is Crucial for Sobriety
The “one day at a time” mantra is used frequently in recovery. And I have to be honest — I couldn’t stand the saying for many, many years. It made me think of the TV show “One Day at a Time” and its incredibly catchy and annoying theme song, which would then stay lodged in […]
An Immediate Victory to Recovery: Showing Up
On account of my drinking, I have missed out on a lot. I had to be taken home early from my sister-in-law’s wedding because I was annihilated. I was too hungover to go to my niece’s dance recital. I missed countless days of work due to raging hangovers or because I was still drunk from […]
Keeping Sobriety Fresh: How to Avoid a Recovery Rut
When we first come into recovery, whether by way of rehab, counseling, or a 12-step group, many of us are inundated with new experiences. Our days may be filled with therapy, support group meetings, and other activities designed to show us a new way to live. But as we learn to integrate these techniques into […]
Sipping Through Sickness: Illness and Alcohol Use Disorder
As I lay in bed leveled with COVID for the fifth day in a row, I am reminded of how I used to drink through illness. It didn’t matter how sick I was, I would always drink. And that’s because I drank every day, so being sick was no exception. It may be surprising to […]
Sober Love: 7 Sweet Gift Ideas for Valentine’s Day
Valentine’s Day is a divisive holiday and I understand why some people hate it. Whether you’re coupled or uncoupled, sober or active, it can stir up uncomfortable emotions around all kinds of relationships — including toxic ones. My most toxic relationship was the one I had with alcohol and sometimes it’s helpful for me to […]