Whether you're on it, off it, or somewhere in between
On account of my drinking, I have missed out on a lot. I had to be taken home early from my sister-in-law’s wedding because I was annihilated. I was too hungover to go to my niece’s dance recital. I missed countless days of work due to raging hangovers or because I was still drunk from […]
When we first come into recovery, whether by way of rehab, counseling, or a 12-step group, many of us are inundated with new experiences. Our days may be filled with therapy, support group meetings, and other activities designed to show us a new way to live. But as we learn to integrate these techniques into […]
When I was still drinking, Super Bowl Sunday was always followed by a dreadful, hungover Monday. Even though I never watched sports, or cared about anything other than my pool numbers, I always drank like a monster. While some drinkers can turn any old day into a drinking occasion, certain calendar markers can become just […]
As I lay in bed leveled with COVID for the fifth day in a row, I am reminded of how I used to drink through illness. It didn’t matter how sick I was, I would always drink. And that’s because I drank every day, so being sick was no exception. It may be surprising to […]
Valentine’s Day is a divisive holiday and I understand why some people hate it. Whether you’re coupled or uncoupled, sober or active, it can stir up uncomfortable emotions around all kinds of relationships — including toxic ones. My most toxic relationship was the one I had with alcohol and sometimes it’s helpful for me to […]
For many of us who suffer from substance use disorder, everyday can start to feel the same when in active addiction. Like the movie Groundhog Day, where Phil Connors (Bill Murray) relives the same day over and over again, each day started to feel identical when I was drinking. While the circumstances of each day […]
For years I was really into journaling, writing nightly with a pen onto a bound book of beautiful empty pages. Then one day, I stopped. As far as I can figure, this occurred around the time Wi-Fi came into my life and my apartment. Instead of bringing my journal into bed with me, I brought […]
On my two-year sober anniversary, I received a text from my buddy that read: “Your sobriety helps more people than you will ever know.” I thanked him, said “yeah right” to myself, and forgot about it. But a bit later on, I realized he might be right. And that’s because since I got sober, I […]
If you are anything like us at The Wagon, you love a good documentary. Here, we share four great documentaries about substance use disorders and the ensuing, devastating consequences. There’s Something Wrong with Aunt Diane In the summer of 2009, 36-year-old Diane Schuler drove the wrong […]
“Radical Acceptance is the willingness to experience ourselves and our lives as it is.” – From Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach, Ph.D. Back in 2011, when I was in my second rehab and freaking out over being there, an addiction counselor told me to practice acceptance. “Acceptance is the answer to all of your problems […]
At the end of my drinking, there was no longer anything fun about being a functioning alcoholic. I had crossed over the threshold of functioning into complete alcoholic dysfunction quite quickly. Yet, I continued to fool myself into thinking I was “functioning” because I could pay my mortgage on time, look put together (at least some of the time), and hold down a job.